She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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