her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
