We need to rekindle our bromance
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize