but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
