in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
