Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
