I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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