Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
