I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
