3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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