i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
