tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
