I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
