i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
