dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
