there's paper in my vomit.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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