nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
