I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
