dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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