I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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