porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
