i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
