Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
