Michael Bay diarrhea
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
