you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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