got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
