I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i love accidental penises.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
