We won't sleep together?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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