you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
