If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
