I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
