He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
