if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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