I need help removing her.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
