We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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