Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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