i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
