maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
