Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
