He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
