I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We need to get me chipped asap
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
