Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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