We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
