the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
