Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
