Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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