I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
