I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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