She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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