Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
