He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
