Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
