I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
