I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
