i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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