it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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