I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
