i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
