I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
