I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
