Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
