I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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