i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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