Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
