I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
