Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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