My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
