We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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