You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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