I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
