I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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