; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Come share oat with me in your robe
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize