Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize