Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
